it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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