Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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