I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
