I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
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