Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
