she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Randomize
