Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
