how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
