Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
