If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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