i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
How external is "for external use only"?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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