Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
