I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
