Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
