Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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