i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
it was like eating out sand paper
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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