I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
