I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
