Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
