Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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