she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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