So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize