this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
