She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
