i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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