So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
