Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
