I will die if light touches me.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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