No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
