i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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