But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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