Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
