Got a toothbrush?
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
