Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
