I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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