Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
