I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
