Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
