Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
