If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
