he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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