i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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