I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Randomize
