Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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