So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
