I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
