There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
