i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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