you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
