honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
