Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
