just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Sorry my hands just texted you
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
